This melody is mellow but I cant figure out the sequence HELP

[ckil55]

It would be like a flower growing and then seeing the sunlight when all of a sudden a storm blows in with high winds then it goes away and the sun comes back out. 

check it out

http://www.jamstudio.com/Studio/FWSongShare.asp?SongNum=261340&SongId=261418

Clarence

[ckil55]

Hey I was fartin around with it and added a line. I think I have got something goin on with the build up and then a mellow come back I think

http://www.jamstudio.com/Studio/FWSongShare.asp?SongNum=261373&SongId=261484

Have a listen

Clarence

[doreenmmarsden]

Hey I was fartin around with it and added a line. I think I have got something goin on with the build up and then a mellow come back I think

http://www.jamstudio.com/Studio/FWSongShare.asp?SongNum=261373&SongId=261484

Have a listen

Clarence

it just needs tidying up a little Clarence but its got potential. dor

[yninoarrane]

Hi Clarence,

I agree with Doreen.
I love your first page and the idea for the song.

I made some changes, It's just my 2 cents.
http://www.jamstudio.com/Studio/FWSongShare.asp?SongNum=265920&SongId=265935

Regards, Yninoarrane.

[ckil55]

Thanks for the input guys

Let me explain my issue   See page three is a build up part but the rest of the song doesn't feel the same I found that page four is a good break then what to do next   go back to what page two or one  Or shoot myself

help click

a disturbed Clarence